Laceration Gravity

I graduated from University. Yay!

I'm looking for a job. Boo. I want to work in LA. None of this pansy Orange County stuff.

I'm over the Clueless Quitter. He can go jump in the ocean for all I care. I might have a crush on someone else, but I need to be realistic.

Uh, this last one might come as a shocker to everyone reading this but... another thing I've been doing lately is... I'm trying to quit smoking. CQ is the one who taught me how and I've been smoking for about a year... But it's difficult to quit when it's the last thing that connects me to him, regardless how much I dislike him.

But yeah, this is me so far. Anyone have a job for me, let me know!

But I don't think I like you anymore.

I mean, I don't even care about what you do.

I guess this is called being mature.

You hate Disney princesses only because you wish you were one.

I'M SO LONELY!
_____________________

BTW: Two months left of school. I'm muy excited.

You give your hand to me
Then you say hello
I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

No, you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend
That's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me

I never knew
The art of making love
Though my heart aches
With love for you
Afraid and shy
I've let my chance to go by
The chance that you might
Love me, too

You give your hand to me
And then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
You'll never never know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me

You give your hand to me, baby
Then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
No, no, you'll never ever know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me

I'm pretty sure I'm over you.

I'm graduating this semester and am going to find someone grown up.

I need to work less.

Seriously, fuck you.

I'm sick of your self centeredness.

Your lack of "bros before hoes".

They way you are angry just makes me angry.

You're a dick, and I'm not sorry for calling you one.

For the record I'll be ignoring you all week.

I'm so angry, I'm not even in the mood to watch Star Wars IV and V on t.v.

And that's saying something.

_________________________________________________


On a lighter note: Orzo pasta salad is heaven.

We were hoping for some romance,
All we found was more dispair,
We must talk about our problems,
We are in a state of flux.

Flux (flŭks): continuous change, passage, or movement.

I however, am in a state of stagnation.

I worked 42 hours this week. And winter session starts tomorrow. I'm tired and lonely.

Gross.

In four days it'll be the anniversary of my lame crush.

It'll have been a whole year of butterflies and feelings kept to myself.

It'll be a whole year of you not knowing how I feel.

What am I to you?

Too bad you won't be here to celebrate the anniversary with me.

Or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even it leads nowhere?

Can't you just tell me you hate me so I can forget about you?

So I don't spend every waking minute thinking about you when you're not near?
So I can stop trying to steal glances when you're around?
So I can stop bending to your every whim.
So I can dream of things other than you.

Finals this week. Then two weeks break to go back for winter session. I need to graduate.

My old but new icons. This is Hyde.

Hyde is just as real as CQ.

Dang it all.

School is racing to finish like Speed Racer at the Grand Prix (awesome movie.)

Life is feeling heavy and weird.

He's like a drug, and I'll be very angry if he knows what he's doing to me.

I'm going through withdrawl right now.

I also watched the Chumscrubber today. I don't know how I feel about movies like that one. Yeah yeah, parents never listen to their children. And their children are most likely spoiled snots who want the world and more.

My parents want to marry me off. Make a movie about that why don't you?

I haven't even begun to live my life.

I refuse to marry someone via our parents talking about our future. I want to be proposed to.

I want freaking Edward Cullen. Bella treats him like shit.

I began most of these sentences with "I."

I love talking about me.

I saw lightening tonight. I wonder what it feels like.

Utada Hikaru
Flavor of Life

When you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
get undone even after the good bye.
a hint of bitterness.
The flavor of life

Stuck midpoint between friends and lovers,
like an un-riped fruit dreaming about the day of harvest
because of being unable to just move one more step forward
what’s causing this frustration baby

Sweet talk and tasteless conversations.
it sparks no interest in me
even when things do not go the way you want
it doesnt mean you’ve thrown your life away

When asked ‘ whats wrong?’
I answer ‘its nothing’
The smile that disappears after goodbye
It’s unlike me

The more i wish to believe in you,
For some reason it hurts even more
‘i like you a lot’ instead of ‘i love you’ sounds more like you
the flavor of life

the period when you suddenly remember the scent of someone you had almost forgotten
I want to be able to openly and honestly cherish the white purity of the falling snow more

A future tender and warmer than a diamond
i want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, i want to spend it with you
-------------------

I don't like feeling this way. It makes me feel like my life is going to go back to the way it was before my part time job. Timid, introverted, alone. I never want to be those three words again.

Yes, Weezer is amazing. It's all I've been listening to lately. They seem to have alot of my feelings already mapped out.

Like in the song named "Why Bother?" Haha, coincidence. NOT.

Why Bother?
It's gunna hurt me,
It's gunna kill when you desert me.

I feel that way about alot of things in life. I'm just not a risk taker.

The semester is almost over, yay! And then I'll almost be out. I'll be taking a winter class just so I can have an even lighter load in the spring.

I'm not happy with my raise at work, which by the way has yet to go through. The management couldn't care anyless about what I have to say. I'd like to think alot of my ideas are smart. I'd like to think I'm smart. But I'm not. I'm a big fat liar.

I want a career already. One that will take me on missions in far away places. Not missions like, "Did you know you could be saved?" but like, inspections or meetings or something in countries. I wish I could take someone with me too. He'd never go. I think I'm gunna tell him I like him when I graduate. I don't want this to turn into crush cancer.

So I'm posting about maybe a thousand things.

Firstly, this weekend has SUCKED. Intensely. It's ridiculous. And it's all because of work. People there were in bad moods, cliques have been made, people not showing up, people showing up hours late, running out of supplies, things breaking down. This list can go on FOREVER. I don't get paid hardly enough. And this whole weekend I was trying to look at the bright side of things.
The person in a bad mood, I've badgered him so much about him feeling better or wanting to talk about what's bothering him that I just don't care anymore. I really thought we were friends. And the cliques are stupid. Apparently it's boys v. girls. Which is stupid. And as for people not showing up or people being late; try calling someone to cover when you have a line of people to the door and there's only you and someone else working.

I never knew making stupid Ice Blendeds and Lattes could be so full of drama. Noone listens to me as a shift supervisor, and it's really crappy.

On a lighter note! Time to do the meme things that creamysoup tagged me for. I love you, ANNFORD! Lol.

Interview Meme

1. Leave a comment saying you would like to be interviewed.
2. I will then respond with 5 questions that could be personal, but not extremely so.
3. Then update your LJ with the questions I've asked.
4. Put these same rules (or something that resemble these rules) with your questions.
5. When people ask you to interview them, you will ask them 5 questions.

( The Questions and Answers! )

I'll reply to the other one soon, Ann! It's time for Yoga!

I hate hate hate hate HATE it. I'm not getting paid enough to deal with the people I work with. Not all of them, but some very specific ones. And it seems like I always get stuck with them. And I really hate being angry too. I'm hardly ever angry and when I am, I get sick to my stomach so I really wanted to leave early, but everyone was so flipping lazy, ARGH! If I really miss making lattes, I'll buy myself a milk steamer.

I was so angry, I didn't even care to tell anyone that I saw The Dark Knight in IMAX, which was awesome. The theater that I went to decorated the mirrors with red paint with amazing quotes like, uhhh, "Why so serious?" or... "A taste for the theatrical." and stuff like that. For the first half of the movie I sat pretty far back, but in the middle of the movie, I went to the bathroom and sat in the front. Woah. The stereos will knock your socks off.

Happy day, my parents come on Wednesday. I haven't done anything crazy cool while they were gone, but oh well.

I should've tipped a cow or something.

If AMC plays The Usual Suspects one more time, I'm going to be very angry.

I went to Comicon. Blah. Gerard was there! Signing stuff! I wish I had knownnnn! Turn back timmmmmme!

I'm going next time fo' sho! Kat, come down next summer and we'll go to Comicon!

I will after I say my Jerry Springer afterthought:

People change so quickly it's scary. I hope I can be consistent in my personality for a while.

My lappy top has a virus, and I'mma take to Alex, all whom I'll tell you about when I get it fixed!

I love Katteh G and will very soon send her turkish delight as soon as I stop being lazy.

So in the time that I've been gone, alot has happened.

1. I went to Syria for a month.
2. They're builing a Fersheezy by my house. (Fresh and Easy)
3. They're building a FAMIMA!! by my house! It opens in two days! I WILL BE THERE!

Two more semesters of university guys! I remember when I first made this LJ when I was in junior college. It's so fun to read old posts. Makes you feel young again.